Reflecting on life’s patterns & our struggles
As you read this we invite you to pause and reflect on areas of your life, whether personal, professional, or social, where you may be feeling frustration, sadness, loneliness, grief, or pain. It’s not the easiest ask, but these feelings are part of the human experience.
Allow yourself some time to settle into this reflection.
Zooming Out
As you think about some of your personal life themes which might call for healing, we ask you to take what may feel like a leap of faith: consider that what you’re experiencing is part of a larger, more intricate system. You are not isolated in your struggles, you’re woven into a vast, interconnected web of life which is in continual motion – every cell of your being is always in movement.
Imagine seeing what you’re struggling with as an individual experience more akin to a fractal – a fractal is a pattern that repeats at various scales, where any small part resembles the whole – nature is full of fractals!
This leads us to think about our interconnectedness and the ways our selves relate to a much bigger and more complex ecosystem of interconnectedness.
Interconnectedness
Interconnectedness lies at the heart of KOLIMBRI’s work. Relatedness—not just with all people, but with all living and sentient beings, with seen and unseen forces, and with the Earth itself. Sometimes people refer to Mother Earth as ‘Gaia’ who in Greek mythology was the personification of Earth and the ancestral mother of all life. Gaia represents the Earth as a living, conscious entity, interconnected with all forms of life.
If you’re curious to dive deeper into how we’re interconnected, listen to this podcast with Jon Freeman, where he and Marco discuss how indigenous wisdoms, science, and Jon’s thinking around Relational Being all connect.
So, let’s just return to you.
The invitation is to continue to hold in awareness those areas of life where you may be feeling tender. As you do this read this statement below, see if you can breathe in its energy.
“We are after all a mere part of Creation, standing somewhere between the mountain and the ant, as part of the whole.”
In this statement, Chief Oren Lyons captured the essence of interconnectedness – a continuous, ever-changing reality in which we live.
Yet, in Western culture, we’re taught to see ourselves as autonomous, self-determined beings – furthermore we’re encouraged to focus on our individual goals, careers, and personal ambitions. This mindset helps achieve some good outcomes, but if it’s our dominant frame of self-reference, it distances us from a broader understanding. We find a key to the healing process when we reframe the possibility that the challenges we face are not solely our own.
You could be influenced by broader forces: your family dynamics, societal structures, political movements, spiritual realms, your ancestral history and how it’s woven into your DNA. You are part of a systemic unfolding that is much much bigger than most of us might realise.
How can we spot hidden patterns?
At KOLIMBRI, we run workshops called ‘What is Your Nature?’ where we often focus on interconnectedness, helping participants experience both their hidden patterns that hold them back as well as the dreams that pull them forward. We might pose questions like:
- Where do I feel my life isn’t reaching its full potential?
- What might be keeping me stuck in survival mode?
- What unconscious forces are holding me back?
- What becomes possible when I change outdated patterns?
Working with unseen forces and relationships
Sometimes, it feels as though invisible forces—like gravity—are subtly guiding our lives. These influences often stem from deeper, systemic patterns: family dynamics, organisational systems we belong to, ancestral trauma. In my holistic counselling work, I support clients to not only attend to their personal issues, but at the same time to be open to the possibility that they are touching into unresolved ancestral patterns.
My belief is that every piece of healing we do has a positive ripple-effect not only healing ourselves, but contributing to healing a larger web of interconnectedness. And vice versa is also true – as we experience a deepening of human-induced climate change, we are influenced by the planetary chaos and transformation too.
In case you’re beginning to feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of interconnectedness, I find the following thought grounding. I wonder if healing can be similar to the process of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery using gold-infused glue. It’s not about striving for perfection as we re-create the broken artefact, in fact, quite the reverse. It’s the very imperfections – in us or in our wider ecosystems – which when we accept and see clearly, we can begin to re-integrate with love and compassion into something more beautiful. And we can do this one fragment at a time.
Systemic Constellations as catalyst for healing
Systemic constellations provide a wonderful way to examine the hidden dynamics that shape our lives. Through physical representations, with people or objects, we ‘map’ a wider system of relationships, emotions and roles. It’s a dynamic process which we observe carefully and reveals patterns that can be profoundly impactful.
An example of systemic influence might be someone raised in a family with a history of traumas and addiction. If the root causes of addiction are never addressed, this person might grow up unconsciously adopting the same coping mechanisms. As a result, they may be beset by a range of feelings: self-loathing, rage, depression or illness. Constellations can help reveal how these patterns are embedded in the individual who is carrying a fractal of their wider system’s dysfunction.
Similar principles can apply to organisations. Systemic patterns within a workplace can perpetuate dysfunction. For example, if a specific role repeatedly leads to burnout or failure, it may not be the individuals in the role, but the wider system itself that needs to be attended to.
Beyond Blame
In constellations we don’t blame or scapegoat particular events or people. Every role, emotion, or event is part of a greater whole – it has a right to be. By acknowledging and including all elements with compassion, we witness and gradually release old patterns. This movement often makes space for new possibilities which can be transformative. It allows us to replace outdated patterns or self-narratives with more constructive beliefs, which lead in turn to more life-affirming behaviours.
You Are Who You Choose to Be
The image above is one of our Cards from our Curiously Connected Cards, it’s called ‘You are who you choose to be’. The science of neuroplasticity shows us repeatedly that our brains have the capacity to form new neural pathways, enabling us to change even deep-seated patterns.
If you’re interested to explore the forces that might be unconsciously holding you back, join one of KOLIMBRI’s upcoming workshops to transform hidden influences and open doors to new possibilities. Stay updated on upcoming workshops via our “What’s On” page.
With love to all things…